


I'm in a Love/Hate Relationship With Autumn Right Now

by PrussianBluu (ryuutora)



Series: Daisuga Week [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: All the cute shit I could fit into 2800 words, Also the rest of the Karasuno babes, Confessions, Fluff, Just mostly those two, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Noya's a lil shit whoops, cavity-inducing fluff, team antics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2117586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryuutora/pseuds/PrussianBluu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They meet in the spring.<br/>Daichi falls in love in winter.<br/>He confesses in the summer.<br/>He's a nervous wreck in autumn.</p><p>(Done for Daisuga week prompt 'Seasons', posted as a result of my impatience. It will go on Tumblr on the 23rd when it's supposed to, but for now you get to read it first here!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm in a Love/Hate Relationship With Autumn Right Now

**Author's Note:**

> STILL. SWEARING. A. LOT.  
> So sorry. It's not even mean swearing or anything it just kind of happens for emphasis and stuff.

They meet in the spring. It’s their first day of high school, and the expected jitters have overtaken most of their class, but the person sitting beside Daichi is gazing curiously around the classroom, less anxious and more…analytical, Daichi would say.  
  
He scoots his chair a bit closer to the seemingly confident boy. “Er.” He clears his throat to catch his attention. “Hi. I’m Sawamura Daichi.”  
  
Typically he isn’t this straightforward with people; the only reason he was even paying attention to him in the first place was because he saw him remove a pair of volleyball shoes from his bag when he first entered the classroom, replacing them after finding his notebook and pencil case. And Daichi really, _really_ likes volleyball and really, _really_ needs friends at this school.  
  
“I’m Sugawara Koushi, but it’s okay if you just call me Suga. Nice to meet you.” He smiles and holds out a hand, and something in the movement tells Daichi that Sugawara is very far from confident in this setting. He does a damn good job of hiding it, though.  
  
When Daichi shakes his hand, he finds himself relaxing just the slightest bit, content to have already met someone he could potentially call a friend and who may just understand his current emotions. And he can’t help but to smile as well. “Nice to meet you, too.”  
  
*  
  
It’s winter, the tips of Daichi’s ears protesting their exposure to the bitterly cold air and his gloved hands crammed into his coat pockets, when he stands outside the gym and waits for Suga to finish talking to the captain. The third years are leaving in a few months, and their current captain has just asked Daichi to take over for him in April. He agreed – of course he agreed; he wants nothing more than to be a captain – and wandered out of the gym in a thrilled daze.  
  
It took him a few seconds to realize that Suga wasn’t with him. Now he lingers by the door and listens to his best friend thank the captain over and over for appointing him as next year’s vice-captain.  
  
He’s maybe a little high on life right now. And there is not a single complaint he has about it.  
  
Suga smiles hugely to him when he finally skips out the door, extending his hand and laughing jovially. “Shall we, captain Daichi?”  
  
It’s a pity to see the third years go, as it should be, but every door closed is another opened. Daichi smiles back, because holy shit there is nothing better than this exact moment, nothing he can think of, and he takes Suga’s hand to walk home with him.  
  
He’s going to be captain. Suga will be his vice-captain. They’re going to lead a team to victory together someday.  
  
“We shall.”  
  
And it’s not so much euphoria as it is clarity in the moment Suga squeezes his hand that makes his chest feel suddenly too full but not full enough, his lungs compressed and his heart begging for attention. His high falters, fluctuates, and returns tenfold. He loves Suga infinitely more than he ever thought he did, or would. Which should be scary – it should be _terrifying_ , the realization that he’s fallen desperately in love with his best friend/vice-captain/support – but having Suga as a constant in his life for the past two years makes the blow much softer.  
  
What’s two years to get his head on right in comparison to a lifetime of his constant?  
  
So many times they’ve implied that they don’t see themselves being apart in the future, and so many more they’ve stated it outright (“This would work for _our_ house,” “There are classes for _both of us_ at this university,” “You’ll have to make sure I don’t spend money on stupid things when _we’re_ older”). He doesn’t see why the hell he _shouldn’t_ act on courage and the implication-certainty that they are something well beyond friends.  
  
The state of his mind is merry; merriment in excess has the potential to be dangerous. Or rather, to lead to rash decisions.  
  
‘I think I love you.’ But he can’t _say_ it. Above everything else, he wants to say it, he wants to seize the opportunity, pierce through the winter-still silence, tell Suga exactly how he feels and pray to any deity listening that those feelings are reciprocated. Unfortunately, the moment when love and adrenaline and joy and unadulterated bravery clashed and mingled in his brain has passed, and he settles on squeezing back and keeping his damn mouth shut.  
  
*  
  
Mid-summer isn’t necessarily an inappropriate time for a training camp (not as winter might have been), but it’s nowhere near ideal. Daichi is a sweaty mess as he collapses against Suga at the end of the day, realizes how stupid being so close is when it’s so damn hot, and scoots away a bit.  
  
Suga offers that lovely smile and a towel to go with it, both of which Daichi readily accepts. “That was a really intense match,” Suga comments as Daichi wipes his face. The towel is replaced with a water bottle just as he opens his mouth to ask for one.  
  
Leave it to Suga to always be on the same wavelength as him. “It was. And it’s disgustingly hot today.” He doesn’t mean to complain, of course; it’s a simple fact of life that it’s a sweltering day and the gym doors are wide open to let the bland, rolling heat permeate the room and torment the players.  
  
Not that leaving them closed helped much, since the air conditioning doesn’t seem to want to work properly today.  
  
“It’s okay. You can take a nice cold shower in just a few minutes,” Suga promises, patting his shoulder before settling back down to survey the gym curiously.  
  
But he’s distracted. Daichi, for once, isn’t sure why, but as Hinata hurls a ball at Kageyama and begs him to toss to him until clean-up, he watches Suga’s shoulders droop a bit. As soon as his fingertips brush the sleeve of Suga’s shirt, he turns his head and blinks dolefully at him.  
  
“I wish I could’ve played. Even if it was just a practice match.”  
  
Ah, it’s like his goal in life is to break his own captain’s poor heart. “Suga, that’s--”  
  
“Sorry, sorry, I know that’s pretty selfish. You guys have a really great dynamic out there. It wouldn’t be fair to interrupt such a steady flow of talent.”  
  
Everything is up to Ukai, and Ukai makes decisions based on what’s best for the team.  
  
Not a single practice match Suga played in yesterday was won by Karasuno. It strikes Daichi like lightning how defeated Suga must feel. If it were up to him, he’d put Suga in every match until they were certain they could never suffer a defeat with him on the court.  
  
But fuck it all, he’ll take over the duties of coaching if it means Suga’s happy. Or, realistically, he’ll ask Ukai to try alternating between sending Kageyama and Sugawara out onto the court for games. Improvement can’t happen without practice; he’s positive their coach will understand.  
  
“That’s not selfish at all. Don’t worry so much.” He passes the water bottle back to Suga and waits until he’s finished drinking to continue, “All I ever want during a match is to play, so I don’t expect any different from the rest of the team.”  
  
It’s such a natural thing when his hand finds Suga’s and he interlocks their fingers, giving up on his battle against the heat in favour of sitting as close to him as possible. Who gives a fuck if there are people around: he just wants to make Suga happy.  
  
“You’re going to play lots of games this week, Koushi, and you are going to win some, and lose some, and you’re going to be incredible and--” There, he’s almost done it again, that stupid love thing.  
  
It’s been over two years since he first started falling in love with Suga. It’s been six months since he became aware of this. Now he’s coddling him like this, like the fool he is, and he really shouldn’t have his hand on his cheek like that, not in public. But the pure adoration in his vice-captain’s eyes is a force to be reckoned with.  
  
He finds himself trapped in his own emotional hurricane, because fuck _everything_ \-- he loves Suga and Suga undoubtedly loves him and why the _hell_ are they even bothering with friendship? They’re so stupid. He just wants Suga happy. He’d give his life to make Suga happy, which means he is so far down the twisted, delusional rabbit hole that is love that he might as well give his life here and now and drink whatever monstrosity of a potion awaits him at the bottom.  
  
He doesn’t, of course, just clears his throat and shifts back a bit (it’s so, _so_ easy to end up closer to Suga than originally intended, so easy to end up in intimate situations without either of them realizing), and nods, keeping their hands clamped together. “I’m going to make sure you get to play to your heart’s content.”  
  
So it isn’t until they’ve finished setting up the futons for the night that he pulls Suga aside, seats him comfortably in the farthest corner of the room, and pours his whole damn heart out to his beaming, blushing best friend. It’s no surprise when Suga does the same, gaze fixated on where Daichi has a death grip on his hand.  
  
They’re so close, so close Daichi could finally kiss him if he wanted (he definitely does want to), and – “And I’d kiss you right now, because I really want to, but I think Noya’s onto us.”  
  
Daichi asks the heaven’s for strength as he turns to see Nishinoya elbowing Tanaka so hard in the ribs he might break them, sly grin plastered on his face. The expression is quickly replaced with one of sheer terror when he catches the two third years staring back at him.  
  
*  
  
There’s no talking. Just the crunching under their feet, Suga’s steady breathing, the occasional call of a bird in the fiery leaves of the trees.  
  
Daichi doesn’t remember what they usually talk about on walks. Do they even talk? His head is too full for him to remember, and he can’t slip up now, he can’t ruin this now, please don’t let him fuck this up.  
  
It’s a much different path than they’d take on a typical day. This is far from a typical day. He’d squeeze Suga’s hand – seek reassurance – but it would be suspicious of him to need reassurance in the first place.  
  
He’s done that stupid waiting thing again. The coward thing. It took him six months to confess to Suga when they were in high school, and the engagement ring has been hidden away under his nightstand for over a year.  
  
Sawamura Daichi needs to give more thought to the saying “seize the day.” But he’s here now, and there’s certainly no turning back, since he’s obviously made his boyfriend curious by deviating from their Saturday route. He can’t exactly take him to their high school and give the explanation, “No reason. Just wanted to be here.”  
  
That’s just stupid. He’s being stupid. He’s also extremely nervous, which is a major contributing factor to his sudden stupidity.  
  
And then the nerves hit again. To their _high school_. Is _that_ stupid, too? He’d thought, just a week ago, that it was sweet, maybe romantic; the best place he could do this.  
  
Suga (bless his heart) starts talking about the kids at the daycare and his experiences this past week, most of which Daichi missed because he was too preoccupied with other things. Marriage things, to be specific. So, no, he didn’t know about ‘the great Lego castle collapse of Hallowe’en.’ He does now, thanks to Suga’s incredible ability to distract him from the cloud of helplessness in his head. He also gets to hear about how many proposals Suga has _already_ received this week, two from Shouyou and Tobio’s daughter, no less. And the dinosaur war waged on the foam tiles on Tuesday (the pterodactyls won), and the much more common spilt milk incident of the same day. He learns, by the time they’ve arrived at the school grounds, that he should really pay more attention to some of the hilarious shit that happens at his place of employment.  
  
“Ah, I miss being here,” Suga sighs, running his fingers over the chilled metal of the bike rack. He makes for the gym, which doesn’t appear to be in use at the moment, thank god. “We should really have everyone get together nearby, just to catch up.”  
  
Of course, they see most of the team at least once a week. But Nishinoya and Asahi have taken to travelling, and Tanaka seems to have found Tokyo quite to his liking, whereas Narita and Kinoshita took off to the sea the moment they graduated. So, really, setting aside one day to see familiar faces again is a brilliant plan.  
  
In reminiscing, following Suga around and talking about menial things, he almost forgets. But then they’re at the gym doors and Suga is wishing he could go inside (“It’s been _years_ ; I wonder how much has changed?”) and Daichi’s pocket feels a million times heavier.  
  
This should be _easy_. It’s Koushi. Everything is so easy around Koushi. He’s his comfort and his support. He doesn’t have to fear rejection, or embarrassing himself, or an interruption (for which he is now and eternally grateful).  
  
“Hey.” He covers Suga’s hand where it rests imploringly on the handle of the gym door. Suga smiles and turns bodily to face him. He’s not scared, dammit. He’s just excited. Yes, that must be it. He’s excited to take this huge step forward in life. “I have a kind of important question to ask.”  
  
“Oh, okay.” Suga nods and waits patiently, not retracting his hand or urging him forward, just smiling placidly like the wonderful human being he is.  
  
Fuck, this is still difficult. Daichi can’t articulate as well as he’d hoped to. “I just…okay, uh, we’ve been dating for a really long time. Since high school. And we’re almost thirty now.” He clears his throat. “Which is – that’s huge. And I love you more than life itself, and I…well, I _hope_ you feel the same.”  
  
He’s an idiot. A blushing, hopeless idiot. His free hand ends up in his pocket and his heart ends up in his throat. “Point is, I love you, and I want you to know that I always will, and you’re so, so important, and I…god. I want to marry you. Er, no, that’s not. Shit.”  
  
Suga laughs softly, stepping a bit closer and resting a hand on Daichi’s shoulder just as he takes a deep breath to steady himself and just say the right goddamn words. “You’re supposed to be on one knee, you know,” he murmurs.  
  
Daichi curses again and makes to do just that. It’s not as though it’s going to be a surprise. They’re practically married anyway, but he has done a shit job of actually asking. Suga, however, catches him before his knee hits the pavement.  
  
“I don’t mind you standing, though. In fact, I prefer it.”  
  
Daichi closes his eyes briefly. He’s going to die if he doesn’t get this over with. He feels Suga’s hand on the back of his neck, then their foreheads are pressed together. When he looks, he’s met by brown eyes sparkling encouragement and amusement. Like it’s funny to watch him stumble over his words like an imbecile.  
  
“Koushi?”  
  
“Yeah?” He can’t seem to keep the smile out of his voice.  
  
“Will you marry me?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
He lets his eyes fall shut again and wrestles the ring from his pocket. It’s far from flashy; just a thin, silver band with a small diamond embedded deeply into it.  
  
As he expects, Suga thinks it’s perfect, because Suga himself is anything but flashy. If his expression when Daichi opens the box isn’t enough to convey his thoughts on the matter, then repeatedly informing his now-fiancé of just how perfect he finds it definitely is.  
  
“You know,” he begins as Daichi grips his wrist gently and guides the ring onto his finger, “I was actually considering buying you an engagement ring just last week. Isn’t that funny?”  
  
Daichi’s still suffering from frayed nerves and an erratic heartbeat, but he’s also come down with a case of ‘love, adrenaline, joy and unadulterated bravery’ and maybe a bit of euphoria, so he laughs while he kisses Suga.


End file.
